I've had a rough week. Sunday was great. We took my mom to Disneyland for her birthday. Unfortunately, it was raining and I got sick early Monday morning. I spent Monday fighting a fever and today trying to feel better. However, I have more than physical illness affecting me because tomorrow is the day my daughter was due. It's been so hard as it approaches. I wish I were pregnant again already. I miss feeling her in my tummy and looking forward to being a mom. Mike says that our Rainbow baby is coming soon, but I feel like I'm never going to get pregnant again. All I want is to be a mom and it doesn't seem like it's ever going to happen. If I were already pregnant again, maybe I could deal with tomorrow a little easier, but I'm not, and it leaves my life in uncertainty. I guess I should go see my doctor, but I'm pretty sure they're going to argue I've proven I can get pregnant and just be patient. But it's so hard.
I don't know what else to say except I miss my baby and I'm not looking forward to the rest of my life if I can't have another one. It seems pretty awful.
It's also hard when it seems like everyone is getting pregnant, or already has their babies, and every time I turn on the tv, there's a commercial about talk to your baby or use these diapers or whatever. I can't seem to get away from it.
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